Miami Versus Vegas

Since I’ve been back, people have been asking me this a lot, especially in relation to culture and entertainment. It’s one of those questions that’s hard to answer unless you actually experience both places for an appreciable amount of time. 

A little background though. Gee Dan, why did you go to Vegas? Well, some friends of mine needed my help with some nightlife-related stuff they were doing out there, and money was good, so I figured, “why the hell not?”. Also, after living in Miami for 14 years prior, I kind of wanted to see what other places had to offer. 

I had been to Vegas in small stretches before, and from that perspective, it didn’t seem like a bad place. The casinos and nightclubs were clean and relatively efficient, and everyone seemed to at least have a modicum of civility. However, I never ventured much beyond The Strip. Which, in retrospect, was probably a small tactical error of sorts. 

So, I packed my things, and decided to go west. 

When I got there, of course there was the initial buzz of being in a new place. There was plenty of exploring to do, new people to meet, and places to go. Subconsciously the novelty kind of wore thin quickly. So I filled my weeks with travel whenever possible. If the powers-that-be called for travel, I’d be the first to go. San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Montréal, then the grueling travel of the 2011 Tiësto tour, kept me busy and out of Vegas. In my mind, the town was a one-trick pony and the fun wore off real quick. 

So, by March of this year, I had decided I was going to move back home to Miami. By June I was counting down the days. And, well, here I am. 

Now, this isn’t going to be a “slam-on-Vegas-Miami-rules” piece, since I am going to try to make this as objective as possible. I guess the easiest way to organize my thoughts here is in a pros-and-cons sort of list for each location. 

The “pros” of Vegas: 

• Customer Service. It’s weird, but that’s the one thing that stuck out the most throughout the area. From your top-flight casinos such as MGM, down to the ratty gas station near Nellis AFB, everyone working seemed to at least put on the appearance of caring about your situation. Even in the clubs, you would at least be politely denied entry, if they denied entry at all. More on that later. 

• The entertainment facilities are unmatched (at least in the US) in terms of technological sophistication. Every club, casino, and even the bars are all slick, clean, and high-tech. It’s kind of a geek paradise in a way.

• It’s cheap. Overall, the cost of living is way lower in Vegas than it is in Miami. Gas is a few cents cheaper, and you can usually buy/rent a place for pennies on the dollar of what they were going for during the “boom” years. Vegas was actually hit harder than Miami by the real estate bust. One of the few friends I have out there has a top-flight condo just off the strip which he rents for next to nothing. Goods and services are generally cheaper too. 

• If you’re an American, born-and-raised, English is the lingua franca out there. There’s a sizable Latino minority working in the service industries, but they all speak passable English at the minimum. 

• Traffic? What traffic? Other than the Strip, you can traverse the entire valley in about a half hour, from Henderson in the south to the area around Nellis AFB in the north. East-to-west is a no-brainer too. 

• Weather-wise, it’s actually tolerable except in June-July. And even then air-conditioned buildings are steps away. 

• Being close to the mountains has it’s advantages if you’re into skiing and such. 

The “cons” of Vegas. 

• Those clubs I spoke of earlier? Each one is a relative carbon copy of the next one. There’s zero variety in the talent bookings, whether it be DJ talent, celebrity hosting (yes they do do that out there still), each club just seems to parrot off the other, and talent “changes sides” with the predictability of the tides. There’s no real variety to be had either, except for a few bars in the Downtown area. 

• The whole “generic” feel extends to the culture and people, by and large. Most people in the area, whether they are white, black, Latino, or Asian, have assimilated a little “too well”. I should talk, but it’s not uncommon to hear of someone who is born of foreign parents, but has little to no knowledge of their parent culture. Everything is white, middle-American.

• Some of the customer service ethos is borderline creepy. The people might be rather nice to you, but a lot of the time it comes across as a total sham, since the ultimate goal of most entertainment destinations and casinos in the area is to make sure that you and your money part company as fast as possible. Now, there are some genuinely good people and operations there, but for the most part, you do feel kind of like you are walking onto a used-car lot when you walk into a casino or are near the entrance to a club. There’s no shortage of BlackBerry-wielding guys in three-piece suits looking to sell you an overpriced VIP table at discount prices. 

• There’s no “urban” area per se. There’s the Strip, then there’s suburbia. There’s a Downtown, but it’s just an unhealthy outgrowth of the Strip proper, with some comparatively run-down casinos and bars filling it out. It’s the home of the Fremont Street Experience, which, while pretty and fun to geek out over with regards to the LED arrays, draws the tourists. So, no urbanism like one would see in Miami, New York, or Chicago, it’s just a tourist area and then suburbia. Which leads to massive sprawl. Vegas has half the population of metropolitan Miami, over twice the area. 

• Public transportation, is actually very hard to come by. Miami’s system is constantly criticized for being inefficient and lacking coverage, but Vegas’ coverage is almost nil. There’s buses along the major thoroughfares, and an expensive-to-ride ($5.00 per trip) monorail on the Strip, and that is about it. It takes awhile to get anywhere. For example, from Henderson where my apt was, to the office I was based out of when I was out there, took two buses and about 90 minutes each way. And the second bus only ran at very limited times of the day. And neither location was “in the sticks”. Miami might not have trains and such, but at least the bus system is fairly extensive. It might take time, but at least in Miami there’s coverage. 

• Arts scene. There is none. I looked. 

• Tourists are too convinced of the “Vegas, Baby” mentality, and you really see people at their worst when they go to Vegas. I’m all for a good party and getting down till noon, and various indiscretions and misbehaviors, but there’s an art to it. These tourists have not mastered that art. 

• There is a general attitude amongst the hospitality and entertainment industries of an inherent superiority to everyone else in said industry. They regard themselves as the heart of the entertainment industry, when in fact, it’s just a backwater oddity with lots of money. 

• Education. Vegas is dead-last in most educational benchmarks. But it doesn’t require much intelligence to con people into going to a casino. 

• Corporatism run amok. I’ll defend to the death anyone’s right to make money, but it doesn’t mean I have to agree with the methods. “Sin City” is the most corporatized entertainment complex on the planet, with all the attendant rules and regulations a corporate bureaucracy entails. With little exaggeration, one needs no less than three different certifications in order to work on the floor of a casino or a nightclub establishment with any regularity. The trades describe Vegas as “Disneyland for adults”, and this is the absolute truth in every aspect. The Vegas entertainment scene is a scripted circus for the adults with multi-billion-dollar entertainment corporations managing and overseeing every aspect of it. For some people, that works though. They don’t want to think too much about their entertainment, they just want to do it.

• This might reflect some personal bias, but the “douchebag quotient” (I can’t think of a better term), is very high. In general, the population comes across as very spoiled and self-entitled. It’s an all-too-American failing, but magnified since they feel that they live and/or work in Vegas, that they are some how entitled to act the fool. And if you’re not of the same mindset, you’re regarded as an oddity.

OK, I think I beat Vegas up enough. It’s a civil, orderly place, but there’s little in the way of variety, and the whole “Sin City” advertising is a facade. Now, let’s build Miami up and tear it down. 

The “pros” of Miami. 

• Cultural diversity. There’s a lot of different people in Miami. Latins, Europeans, Caribbean folk, Africans, even Asians. The Latin influence is huge, of course, but it isn’t a far stretch to see people and events representing all of the others. It’s the biggest selling point in my mind. The mix of cultures and languages makes Miami the most un-US part of the United States. It’s like leaving the country, without actually leaving it. 

• The “pretty people”. It’s very subjective, but at least as far as the US is concerned, most of the better-looking people gravitate towards South Florida. Statistics be damned, I challenge anyone to walk down Lincoln Road on South Beach, or go to a nightclub on the weekend. Whatever your preference, you’ll find it, and be quite pleased with yourself. 

• The nightlife and entertainment. The fact that the scene is still rather laissez-faire leads to some rather interesting options for your daily and nightly enjoyment. Whether it’s having a few drinks to the pulsating house beats at Space every Sunday morning at 10 AM, or an impromptu warehouse party that may or may not be “legal”, or just an out-and-out festival with a few friends, Miami’s comparatively lax regulatory environment allows for a whole host of crazy entertainment options that you would need to fill out a novel for in order to do in Vegas. Plus, with the ability to easily throw smaller-scale events, this allows for a far greater diversity in entertainment options. You aren’t just limited to the top ten DJs of the world, or whichever “Vegas Act”, i.e. Celine, is in fashion this season. 

• The arts scene. I know Miami’s arts scene isn’t on the scale of say, New York or San Francisco’s, but it is getting there. Art Basel Miami should be enough of an indicator. Such a thing, or even a smaller art-oriented event, simply would not happen in Vegas. It doesn’t appeal to the sort of tourist or citizen of that area. I wasn’t much of an art-scenester when I left Miami, but now that I am back, I do appreciate what I’m missing. Art Walk a week ago was positively outrageous despite the humidity and heat. 

• Transportation. Public transit basically works in Downtown or South Beach, and it is tolerable in the outer areas, if you plan ahead. At least the bus will show up. Vegas, the bus simply doesn’t exist in most areas. And there’s no plans for expansion. 

• The beach. There’s simply no replacement for the ocean. A saltwater pool and some pneumatically-boosted waitresses is fine, but there’s simply no replacement for the ocean. Even if the girls are still pneumatically-boosted. 

• People might come across as a bit harsh at first, but at least it’s genuine. And when you finally make friends with someone in Miami, generally you can usually count that person as a friend for life. Loyalty is very strong in Miami and is built-in to the culture in some aspects. 

• Individuality is usually tolerated and respected. No matter how “odd” you are in Miami, there’s usually someone who can give you a run for your money, right around the corner. It’s part of the charm.

• The weather. Some humidity is actually good for you, and the parts of the year it’s “oppressive”, it can be dealt with. Plus, everyone else is a sweaty mess too, so what’s the big deal? Being a sweaty mess is a small price for October - March, when the weather is perfect. 

Miami is pretty, entertaining, and crazy, but there’s some work to be done. The “cons” of Miami: 

• It’s comparatively expensive. Gas is $4.00 and change per gallon. Rents are a bit high, but you can find good places to live at a good rate if you shop around. It might be self-justification but I consider the higher rents the “price” of living in Miami. 

• Crime. You gotta watch yourself here. Some people really are out to get you. 

• Traffic. Unless you’re driving off-hours, it’s a pain. And since the buses run on public streets, you’re stuck there too.

• Political corruption. It adds a little zest, sure, but the fact is, the corruption doesn’t allow much to get done in a given period of time. The train to the airport, scheduled to be done in 2012, is like decades behind schedule. Nevermind Baylink. It’s basically a microcosm of pork-barrel politics. 

• People are insular. Until you get to know them. Also, they tend to be a bit provincial. A lot of people actually won’t leave their immediate neighborhoods. There’s so much to do in South Florida as a whole, and they limit themselves to the 2 square miles around their house. 

• The diversity I mentioned earlier does lead to a language barrier. English might be the de facto language of the US, but someone forgot to tell Miami. However, this adds to the fun sometimes. It’s really a matter of personal opinion. I think technology will fix this one. 

• Education. Unless you can afford a private education, the schooling system around Miami is pretty poor. However, it does show signs of getting better. 

• Some of the de-regulated nature of Miami can be pretty dangerous. Kind of tied in with political corruption. A lot of people are looking for a payout. It’s benign unless you’re talking something like a building inspector. 

But, for those who have asked, there you have it. In a nutshell, Vegas was an “experience”, but it’s definitely not for someone like me. If you live there and enjoy it, you have my blessing. If you live there and don’t, drop me a line, maybe I can help get you out. 

But damnit, I’m glad to be home!